November 22. Last week, Apple updated some software and broke my program I used to make this stuff accessible to y'all. It's been fixed now, so as I try to catch up, please check out the wonderfulness I tried to give you this past week. There will be more relevant coming this week, which will follow the Nov. 15 items. One less thing you have to give thanks for this holiday season.
November 15. It's a confusing season. The Masters golf tournament is being played. Black Friday happened a month ago. Starbucks started selling pumpkin spice lattes since before the pandemic began. And yet, when I look forward, Thanksgiving is still rushing at us, a week closer than the last time I checked. Of course we weren't able to finalize plans as early as we usually do, what with the CoVID-19 thingie messing up everything. We'll muddle through. I get to have my annual pre-holiday panic attack, centered around having an uncooked or undercooked turkey, and not having enough food, both of which never happen. So the grand adventure continues.
The Conspiracy Theorist
The latest from the desk of the CT is a doozy. Donald Trump will not only not pardon two turkeys this year, but he will set up a guillotine in the middle of Pennsylvania Ave. to behead them. Why? Because he wasn't able to behead anybody during his presidency, and this will have to do. Or he found out that the turkeys voted for him illegally and wants to destroy the evidence.
Another theory: Trump may not pardon two members of the species Meleagris gallopavo, but will pardon Rudy Giuliani and Kayleigh McEnany, as well as all members of his cabinet.
Did You Know?
Compact Discs supposedly take a million years to decompose in landfills. Since neither CDs or landfills have been around for a million years, how did whoever figure that out? Also, thinking of millions of copies of
Who let the dogs out?
The Macarena and anything featuring Barney the Purple Dinosaur in landfills gives a whole new meaning to toxic waste.
Yes, another headline.
In CNN's Good News section, I learned that
Texas boy wins first place in national mullet championship.
How good is that? It's a semi-sincere question.
O.K., I can handle one kid in Texas still having a mullet 30 years after the fad peaked, but enough wearers to have a competition?
And if you're thinking irony, nobody in the history of ever wore a mullet ironically, even David Spade in Joe Dirt.
I saw a picture of the Four Seasons Total Landscaping event in Philadelphia held by Trump's lawyers. I think the picture itself has a message or two, regardless of what the words were.
FSTL works out of a simple cement-block building. It's definitely a working facility. The team was outside in the sunshine. I'm guessing venue costs were minimal.
The backdrop was a garage door covered in Trump/Pence yard signs, I'm guessing left over from the campaign, again minimal cost. There wasn't an American flag in sight.
There are ten people in the photograph. Eight are wearing masks.
I've noticed that quite often, if I read about something, I will read about it again. I'm not talking about news items which you expect to see across news sources. No, these are unrelated and different takes on a common theme.
I've mentioned Jeff Goins before and he's been having an interesting summer, with some big changes in his life totally unrelated to the pandemic. A recent blog post/articleis a case in point. I liked this quotation, and it indicates the direction he's going:
Our most brilliant work, I believe, comes from a curiosity about life and the universe and who we are. The more curious you are about yourself, the more creative you can be. And when we hold on to these fixed notions of identity, we kill our capacity for what could be.
Then today I was reading some poetry when I came upon this, from Charles Bukowski's
invent yourself and then reinvent yourself.
So whatever you're doing, today is a chance to do something new, or in a new way. Grab reinvention!
I like word riddles and questions, especially if they have no answers and show just how smart the questioner is. The most famous is,
What rhymes with orange followed by
what is a synonym for thesaurus?
My new candidate:
what alliterates with alliteration?
Bonus observation: if you stare at it long enough, thesaurus is one of those words that looks like it's spelled incorrectly, even when it is correct.
LinkedIn still sends me posts for jobs they think I might be interested in. Today, they think I might be interested in being a Special Agent for the FBI. I really can't apply until I decide if I would be Scully-like or Mulder-like.
And in an unrelated thought, does the FBI have any agents who aren't special?
My favorite daily inspiration website is slowly phasing out–no new posts since late August. In the meanwhile, their collection of quotations is still available.
I was just looking at things Oscar Wilde said. You expect funny, witty, acerbic. You may not expect sentimental, heartfelt, inspirational.
Really? Oscar Wilde said that? moments.
My wish isn’t to mean everything to everyone but something to someone and
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
On writing every day.
I know, based on the title, this looks like a specialized post. But I think it can be applied to anyone.
Often, writers (usually beginning) ask,
Do I have to write every day? Since I wasn't necessarily writing every day, I would usually reply,
You don't have to do anything every day, or even at all. But if you want to get good, that's usually the way to go.
Well, now that I seem to be writing every day, I've found a side) benefit that people don't usually mention. If you write every day, you don't have to spend as much time rewriting. Plus, it's curiously satisfying–feels right and all that.
Donald Trump won't concede.
and he won't go away until he stops dominating news cycles. Right now, the pundit hamsters are still running madly in their wheels, reporting on every tweet, every election challenge, every deployment of the Rudy clown car to another industrial park, and speculating on what ol' Don is going to do tomorrow, next week, next month, and on January 21st. Out here in flyover land, where navels are made for cleaning and not for gazing upon, we are starting to shift to laughter and yawns about all this stuff, which is a sign the national healing has begun.
In the future...
Much like the greatest loser of the 2000 election was Rush Limbaugh, the greatest losers of the 2020 election will probably be CNN and MSNBC. They will have to reinvent themselves to live in a land where there is no showman and easy foil. There might even be enough for them to do without having to resort to spending their life engaging in hot take journalism.
Depressing Headline of the Week.
From the BBC:
Virtual office Christmas parties organized on Zoom
Two more side by side, again from the BBC.
Video games good for well-being, says study and
Street Fighter (a videogame) firm's security beaten by hackers.
The first headline might not be absolutely true in all cases.
Having a duh! moment.
Two duhs in one headline, actually, from the Guardian:
Ivanka Trump obsessed with status, says former friend in tell-all essay.
And the head-scratcher
Canadian officials warn drivers not to let moose lick their cars.
My drug store urges me to
Select narcotics in time-delay pharmacy safe.
It's good advice. Those narcotics are probably fresher and of higher quality than the narcotics out on the easy access shelves.
Wait. One of my fact checkers thinks the sign might be using select as an adjective modifying narcotics, and not as an imperative verb, as I read it.
The checker is probably right, but I still like my reading.
New Acquisition Regulation
We have a lot of stuff. New stuff (mostly food, books and clothing) keeps coming in. However, it's getting harder and harder to find a home for permanent (not consumable) things.
Consequently, we are amending our acquisition regulations to account for this. Notable changes, phrased as questions:
- Is this a replacement for an existing item?
- Does it make me prettier or look smarter?
- Is it small enough to be pushed under the couch when we have visitors?
- Do I have to purchase something else to make this work correctly (for example, reading glasses to read tiny print in a book)?
- Can it be used more than once (for example, an exotic spice needed for a recipe for deep-fried rikki-tikki enchilada sorbet with muenster cheese that I will probably never make again)?
- And the key question: Does it need to be dusted?
Bad News/Good News
One of the casualties of 2020 was Neiman-Marcus, which filed for bankruptcy earlier in the year. However, reorganization spared the annual Christmas catalog, famous for outrageously priced items. I guess that's a good thing.